September 8, 2024 | 2:33PM
As I am writing this I am taking one of the worst turds of my life. I have more to say on this but I will refrain as my digital footprints have suffered from my lack of filter. Anywho, I saw my doctor the other day and what do you know!!! My ITP is actually chronic and I have to get back on steroids AND my platelets dropped to BELOW NORMAL AGAIN!! (62,000). I’m stressed, I’m pissed but I’m open. They told me that if this next wave of prednisone doesn’t cure it, I’m gonna have to be put onto a more long term medication which I don’t even mind. I just want to feel and be healthy again for my sake and everybody else around me. I don’t even like alcohol that much anymore so I won’t have an issue with needing to stay sober this time around. I actually like how prednisone makes me feel. It made me feel productive, driven, clear minded and I woke up with the first alarm every time. Maybe this is my sign to get back onto adderral or however you spell it (the legal kind). I was prescribed it in high school but didn’t notice much of a different except for the fact that it gave me a rush similar to 2 cans of redbull. I feel like it may help me now but let me not get too ahead of myself. I still hate having to take pills on a schedule because if you know me, I don’t like schedules! Everything I do and think is spontaneous and impulsive but obviously, that needs to change because I am an actual adult who pays bills and actively commutes to work and shit. Fuck it’s so hard being responsible but I will manage.
Today is my brothers 6th birthday as well. I FaceTimed him for a bit last night and it was really nice. I love seeing him smile and happy. Too bad he’s got a bit of a cough but he’s a trooper :) everyone around me is also kinda sick so I guess we gotta prep for flu season (?)
I wanted to go see the band Badflower today at revolution live but obviously my job pays like shit and I had bills to pay so I passed. Eric does wanna go to a car show and I do wanna surprise him with tickets that I bought but he’s also sick :/ oh well. I’ll drag his ass on a wheelchair if I have to. You’re gonna see that Ford GT baby!
This is where I end my vents and story telling. I have to wipe and start my day. Also enjoy the photo of my dog Bailey with my sister holding him through my ring camera. Unrelated to my thoughts today but I thought it was funny because he doesn’t even look like a fucking dog.
Write ya later! <3
2:43PM
